Happy Newness

Oh hey, it's my birthday. And a new year. And a new blog post. Back in bizness.

I say: Happy newness to all. Whether you adopt a new look, birth a baby, set intentions for better living, recover more of your self under layers of old, or take risks you know (in your head) will reap benefits but that terrify you (in your guts).

Be kind. Love yourself. Take leaps of courageous faith. Seek beauty. Feel however it feels. Realize the peace within, dude. It's there, right next to the unconditional, pretty much perfect love and acceptance you maybe forgot.

That year is gone now. I'm grateful for so much in those memories. But I can't go back to relive those scenes and there's no use in dwelling on what i could have should would have done.

Now I face the daily task of living in the now and here, in my body (not just me noggin'). Lately, during winter break from teaching, I've noticed my body breathing for me--the deep breaths that used to annoy now just happen, calming me down even when my brain is still trying to race. Listen to your body, dude. It's tense, tired, hungry, dancy, angry, weepy, cuddly, alive. Sometimes it knows better.

Peace.

Being a Bridge: Accepting God's Love

"God is Love."

I've heard that many, many times before.  But it's taken me a little over 28 years to finally feel it and believe it.

It seems simple, right? But now I see that God's Love allows us to accept ourselves for who we truly are and then take the ultimate risk of being our whole, honest selves as we interact with those around us.  That, my friends, has NOT been simple or easy for me.  And I would guess that many people find true self-acceptance to be a daily struggle, whether gay, lesbian, bi, transgendered, queer, OR straight.

This morning, as I think ahead to Pride weekend here in Chicago and then to my Pink Menno work in Pittsburgh, I'm aware that surrendering to my true self and being willing to receive God's love are choices I must actively make each day.  I'm thrilled to be going into full-on Pink Menno mode again. But I'm happy to say that this time around, I actually know, feel, and trust that I AM loved unconditionally by God.  I've known it intellectually for a long time, but it's only been recently that I've allowed this love (God) to find its way into my spirit.

I have knew motivation for spreading the Good News of Acceptance for All and Hope for an Inclusive Church. My motivation is simple and yet profoundly urgent for me: I don't want anyone in my extended human family to experience the sense of self-denial, self-hatred, fear, and isolation that I've struggled with my entire life as the result of assuming I'm unacceptable in God's eyes. No one deserves to struggle alone when there is so much love and beauty and connection to be experienced in the world.

For me, God's love is the bridge from my human imperfection, self-doubt, and pain to the unfathomable beauty of self-acceptance, love, and true connection with others.

I have hope. And as a child of God, I will Be a Bridge by sharing my story with anyone who will hear it and by striving to make my life a  witness to the transformative power of God's love for me and for you, just as we are.

How will you "Be a Bridge"?

first bible verse ever posted on my blog?

John 8:32 -- "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

Lots of truth lately.  Discovering it, owning it, speaking it, hearing it, seeing it, feeling it.

good stuff.

Spring Break Pics: NYC/San Fran!

A few sick days have afforded me the time to obsess over a few non-essential, yet rewarding projects. I've organized my photos in iphoto and have used the "faces" feature to tag every face in every picture. Why you ask? Because it's so cool. And now when I pull out my photos on my iphone, I can show you a folder of just pictures of me, or Franklin, or my mom.

I also sorted through my spring break pictures and chose the best to upload to flickr.  Click here to see the whole set. 

Right now, I'm watching Sondheim's "Company" and waiting on a UPS delivery, which I hope comes before I take Franklin to the vet.  He's still itching due to allergies, despite a few weeks of natural supplements the vet prescribed.  Also to do: drop off recycling (we've suspended our recycling practices for the last few months simply because our bins are full), fix one of our kitchen drawers, and pick up photos I had printed at Walgreens that I'm going to put in two sweet frames that I've had sitting in the closet for over a year, and mop the floors.

These past few days, I've been home with viral conjunctivitis (pink eye) and a wicked rash on my arms and neck that the dermatologist thinks is a slight allergic reaction to antibiotics I was on last week for strep throat.  Thank God this all happened after my students' spring concert last Thursday.  It seems that my body was holding on to get me through and has now demanded a break.  And it's ok.  It's a good reminder to take a little better care of my body.  A little sickness gets me in touch with my body, forces me to slow down and pay attention. 

Update: the UPS guy just delivered my package.  Moving on.

loved this

I almost teared up a little watching this google chrome slash "it gets better" commercial during Glee tonight. It's beautiful.

on bullying

amazing

(if you don't want to watch the whole thing, at least jump to the part where the horse comes out!)