It's ok.

Could it be that my tendency to over-analyze, over-reflect, and totally live inside my head has led me to skewed life-long beliefs about myself? Yes.

This week, I've have glimpses of a me that lives in the present--a me that can truly engage others without fear of rejection or judgment.

I'm starting to regard my anxiety issues with gratefulness rather than resentment. At some point in my life, escaping reality by living inside my head was a functional coping mechanism. I was too afraid to face reality, my sexuality, my community. And my ability to retreat kept me safe. But now, I don't need that anymore. There is no rational reason to fear anything in my life now. And so now when anxiety creeps up my spine and through my bones, I can say "thanks, but I'm ok--I'm good here--I'll stay here."

I'm learning to be ok in the moment. Everything won't always be ok. But I can accept how I am, who I am, and who I'm becoming.